The stories of the Bible in TL;DR (Too Long Didn't Read) form *
 
GENESIS
 
God: All right, you two, don't do the one thing. Other than that, have fun.
 
Adam & Eve: Okay.
 
Satan: You should do the thing.
 
Adam & Eve: Okay.
 
God: What happened!?
 
Adam & Eve: We did the thing.
 
God: Guys
 
THE REST OF THE OLD TESTAMENT
 
God: You are my people, and you should not do the things.
 
People: We won't do the things.
 
God: Good.
 
People: We did the things.
 
God: Guys
 
THE GOSPELS
 
Jesus: I am the Son of God, and even though you have done the things, the Father and I still love you and want you to live. Don't do the things anymore.
 
Healed people: Okay! Thank you!
 
Other people: We've never seen him do the things, but he probably does the things when no one is looking.
 
Jesus: I have never done the things.
 
Other people: We're going to put you on trial for doing the things.
 
Pilate: Did you do the things?
 
Jesus: No.
 
Pilate: He didn't do the things.
 
Other people: Kill him anyway.
 
Pilate: Okay.
 
Jesus: Guys
 
PAUL'S LETTERS
 
People: We did the things.
 
Paul: Jesus still loves you, and because you love Him, you have to stop doing the things.
 
People: Okay.
 
PAUL'S LETTERS PART II
 
People: We did the things again.
 
Paul: Guys
 
REVELATION
 
John: When Jesus comes back, there will be no more people who do the things. In the meantime, stop doing the things.
 
THE END
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